2015 was definitely a year in our lives with many ups and downs. Hopes and dreams chattered that definitely did bring me to my knees. It was the year where I also lost hope and faith and started doubting the higher power. Of course it was all just my way of reacting from the several recent back to back let downs in my life.
My IVF journey was not an easy one, well quite frankly none of them have been easy. But It was by far the hardest, painful and most emotional one to date. Having failed again for the 3rd time kind of took a toll on me. I always got right back up after a failed cycle but this last one was different. I felt such anger at myself for having a broken useless body. For not being able to produce the miracle of life that comes so easily to the non deserving. I felt angry at the world and lost faith in God. It took me about a month to snap out of it. Blogging about my anger truly did help. Sometimes writing your emotions and feelings out can be your best therapy. I have always been honest and have made my journey very public, hoping that if someone going through the same thing reads it that they will not feel alone. I felt the love and support from all around me and it made me realize that there are people cheering for me. If they don’t give up on me then why should I give up on myself? So I snapped out of it and realized that it was time to move on and go forward. There is no looking back, so I say “Sayonara 2015” because in 2016 I plan on making it an AMAZING year.
2016 will bring in new treatments, new doctors and hopefully the end result will be what we’ve been longing for these last couple of years.
I am grateful for the prayers, friendship and the love given to me by many. But most of all I am grateful for the amazing support given to me by my husband. He is on this journey with me and has suffered just as much. Maybe not physically like I have, but the emotional pain is just as bad or perhaps even worse.
2016 I welcome you with open arms and ask you to please lead me on another journey. I go into this with a positive mind and a healed heart.
Happy to New Year to all!
Hi, I am Hereta (pronounced Eretha) and I am your typical dog loving - candle maker. Since dogs don't have a voice, I believe it's our job to speak on their behalf. "Don't shop or buy while the homeless die."